In an effort to compensate for the utter lack of bloggage last week I am posting twice this week.
[CONTROVERSIAL CONTENT PROXIMITY WARNING]
I'm sorry for any inconvenience that may occur from any way you take anything I said, say, or will say...except not really.
I want to make sure everyone understands: I'm not a mean person! I try not to be rude. I try to avoid confrontation. I don't like it! It's awkward and honestly, it's usually a waste of time.
However, I do live my the idea that I really don't care what most people think about me. I just don't. There are a few people that I know well that know me well and I trust and respect their opinion. That being said, I don't follow all the advice they give me and I don't always do things based on what they say. I am me, and for the most part, I like me! The things I don't like I am trying to change. The things I can't change, I'm learning to live with. :D
Anyways...
In light of the recent riots, I have something I want to say.
First of all: I don't claim to know very much about what is going on. And I don't want to know. I'm a cynic. I don't need to know all the little details about how broken the world is. I'm well aware it is broken.
And about not knowing or wanting to know... I was having a discussion similar to what I am writing about and apparently I sounded apathetic or something about the plights of others. I was then confronted with, "So what, you just sit there and do nothing about Christians being killed by ISIS until they're knocking on your door?"
My answer is simple: duh! I'm sorry if that sounds rude, or mean, or heartless or whatever. But what am I supposed to do? I do not have the influence to bring the world together to oppose ISIS. I do not have the finances to travel and raise awareness about what ISIS is doing. I do not have the skills or personality to speak against ISIS and get people ready to act against them. I do not have the contacts so hire people to hunt down members of ISIS. So just what exactly am I supposed to do? So as long as ISIS stays out of my area of influence, no, there's not really much I can do, is there? I can pray. And that's really about it. Granted, I believe that prayer can do a lot (yes, calm down, I am one of those people) but that's really all I've got right now.
Do not mistake my ignorance for apathy, nor my apathy for ignorance. I keep the two separate. If I appear one way, it is for a reason and the other should not be assumed.
Second: I'm not writing to address the specifics about what has been going on with ISIS or with the riots. I am writing about the general, underlying issues. It is relevant. I'm just not throwing around my two cents about something I know nothing about.
Speaking about something people are talking about without knowing anything about it: STATISTICS!!!
People say, "Blah blah number of black people were shot by cops."
[To be read in some over-the-top game show host kind of voice]
"Thank you for that random, non-specific, and worthless bit of information! Does anyone else have an equally ludicrous tidbit of about numbers?"
Then other people say, "Well yeah, but twice as many white people were shot by cops."
P.S. I do believe it is possible to actually speak in italics. And this is an example of when it happens.
This is usually where the debate ends or descends into total chaos.
How about this concept: NONE of that information is helpful for anything that is going on!!!
If you're going to argue about the racist nature of the police (which by the way is jobist, you're instantly prejudice (the exact thing you're ranting against), and you look like a dork) you have to look at a ridiculous number of statistics. And that won't even cut it because you're still stereotyping!!!!!!!!!!
How many black people committed crimes last year? How many white people committed crimes last year? How many black people were shot by the police last year? How many of those people were shot by white cops? How many white people were shot by cops last year? How many of those people were shot by black cops? How many black people live in the United States? How many white people live in the United States? How many of the people shot by police were shot during or after violent crimes, were armed, or were a threat to the police or civilians whether they were armed or not? What are the cities where these shooting took place? Of the places where these shooting occurred, how many of them were in areas where police officers have been shot? How many police officers were shot in each of these cities? How many of these officers are going to be a little more worried about the statistical probability of being shot themselves?
Slightly unrelated but equally important questions.
How many of these videos of police brutality and police shootings show the whole story? How often do these videos start right before the supposed "brutality". How many start with the crime? How many of them show what the criminal did to deserve or not deserve "brutality"? What is the actual definition of "brutality" and how can we say for sure whether something is "brutal"? (by the way, Google has the definition as "savage physical violence; great cruelty." The mildest definition of "savage" is "(of something bad or negative) very great; severe." And according to Google according to the law, "cruelty" is defined as "behavior that causes physical or mental harm to another, especially a spouse, whether intentionally or not.") So to me, the word "brutality" either sounds vary subjective or can only be defined by the one subjected to said brutality. So anyone playing the brutality card is kinda cheating unless they have actually talked to the victim. Just sayin...
To continue: Why do people only seem to care about the videos that are shoved in their faces on social media? How many crimes are committed a day that aren't publicized? How many times does a cop do something right that aren't publicized? Why do people rant and rave about the media distorting truth or straight up lying but they trust everything they see on their facebook wall or youtube without doing ANY kind of research?
Why do people just want to get their way? Why do people only care if their voice is heard?
*sigh*
As I said, the world is broken. It's sad. But it's true. And in my mind everyone has two choices about how to react to the world's brokenness.
1: Deal with it. That's it. It's that simple. What is having a hissy fit about it going to do?
2: Do your part to help fix it. Disclaimer: It can't be truly fixed. This world is broken so fundamentally that it cannot be fixed by human means. However, it can be better than it is! And doing our part is easy. Just love people!
Another disclaimer: I am not a flower child hippy. When I say love people I don't mean get all tripped on something and spread nasty diseases for free. I mean genuinely love people. Unfortunately, this is something that is not often taught in our society. People today have a hard time loving.
It may not seem like much but a lot of turmoil and friction between people can be solved just by loving. No matter what your belief is on the creation of the universe we can all agree that the entire universe was made to interact as a single unit. By this I mean there are not stand alone energies or entities. Everything serves a purpose for the greater good of everything else. Call it the circle of life (and now we all have it stuck in our heads) or what have you: everything serves something else.
So why do we think people are exempt from that?
Why do people lie around doing nothing for anyone else and only thinking about themselves? And why are others of us ok with that? And no, I'm not just talking about low income people waiting for their monthly check coming in from the taxes paid by high income people. I am talking about them. But I'm also talking about the high income people who go to their workplace in the morning, ignore the needs of all their employees, fire and hire based on numbers alone, make a paycheck, and then go home to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. I'm also talking about the middle class people who go to work, cut people off without using their turn signal, come home to their spouse and kids, and then lock themselves in a room with their (fill in the blank with a hobby/more work). I'm talking about all these people.
Loving people means doing things with their benefit in mind. What does it benefit me that I pick up flowers for my wife on the way home? It really doesn't. I have to spend an extra ten minutes NOT at home at the end of a work day. I have to go SHOPPING!!! Bleacgh... And I have to spend money that's not in the budget. I don't get flowers for my wife because it benefits me. I get them because I love her and I want her to be happy. That's it. I do it because I love her.
And that's a small, every day kind of love. There's so much more that can be done.
"But what about me? How will I be taken care of if I'm busy loving other people all the time?"
Ok, if you asked that question, you might be a jerk. You might not be! It's a logical question to ask. If I'm giving, how do I receive? Sure. However, that's not usually asked in an objective, I-love-loving-other-people-I-just-want-to-make-sure kind of way.
Answer: if the universe was made to service the rest of the universe, wouldn't it follow that we were made to love? And if we were made to love wouldn't it then be fulfilling to love? Trust me, the universal system won't break because you're doing something you were meant to do. Just sayin...
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Philosophy of Creation (or - how I write music, why I walk funny, the frequency of nasal passages, and rolling in lame)
I was lame last week and didn't post anything.
This week I am less lame.
And for this weeks post: a little glimpse into my head. Or, at least as much of my head as I can put down in words after a tiring brain day.
To explain: I picked out four weeks worth of music for worship services this morning. I got into my office at 9:00 ad left around 12:30. Not too many hours but sifting through that much music and matching it to themes and everything is mentally taxing. That and I stayed up late last night watching Interstellar (which I enjoyed) and playing Payday 2 (which I also enjoyed).
Anyways...
I doubt anyone reading this has read any of the novels based on the Myst computer game series mythology but I am going to reference it. In these stories there are an ancient race of people called the D'ni. The D'ni create worlds by writing in books. They have to describe the world and its peoples correctly and exactly or else the world is unstable and collapses. Things can be omitted but striking a single line has extensive consequences. Through the story Book of Atrus there are two theories about the creation of worlds. Some D'ni believe that the studying of science and the writing of worlds actually creates worlds and the links to them. Other D'ni believe that the worlds already exist and that by writing in the books they simply discover the links to those worlds.
This is relevant.
When I have written some of my best music I feel like the later D'ni. It may sound weird (k, I admit it is a little weird) but sometimes when I write music I can hear it in my head. I heard a melody and chords in my head. I don't know exactly what everything is or how it fits together but I can hear it clearly and I can play it in real time as I hear it. There have been times where I have played and didn't even really know where the song was going or what chord I was going to play next but my fingers went there and it sounded great. That is partially due to many years of playing and practicing and I know where chord shapes are and their relation to each other. But the chord progressions and melodies are new.
So I write out what I hear and what I just played and I can hear the melody continuing. Sometimes I have to stop and figure out what it is before writing it down and sometimes I can figure it out and write it down right away.
And then I get stuck.
I went to college and have a degree in theory and composition so I know how music works. I know how to write music. I know how to analyze music. Like everyone else who does anything with an amount of creativity I get stuck. I get writers block. I have techniques I have learned and made up to spin long pieces of music out of a few notes. I can make something up even when I don't feel inspired. But the best music I have written has come when I have writers block and I just sit there at the piano...and listen. I replay what I have so far either on the piano or just in my head and listen to where it goes next. And it usually goes somewhere I don't expect it to. Or somewhere it wouldn't have if I had forced something out using a writing technique. I feel when I have a good song, it writes itself.
My philosophy: I feel I am the medium between great pieces of music and everything else. I hear great music and write it out.
There are definitely times when I use my knowledge of theory and I use composition techniques to make songs better. Sometimes what comes out is very rough around the edges and needs a little polishing. Sometimes it needs a lot of polishing. But the basic idea is there. What's fantastic, and admittedly doesn't happen very often, is when the song just pops out and poof, it's done! I think that happened once....
Not everyone writes this way. And that's a good thing! It takes too long. There wouldn't be a lot of music out there if people only sat around waiting to be inspired. There are entire genres of music dedicated to systematic and calculated creation. And that's just fine. I have written some music like that.
And I've written music that didn't write itself and it's been good. It's not like only my good songs come out this way. Just my best ones so far.
So that's a little about how I write music.
Here are a few other interesting tid bits that not everyone knows. Maybe they shouldn't.......oh well!
I don't like to step on lines.
No, not real lines. Just lines in my head.
Let me 'splain: When a wall, piece or furniture, or very prominent carpet patters come together at a strong angle I imagine a line coming off the angle. (the next sentence bay be difficult for some readers) For example, if I see a wall that ends at a 90 degree angle, I imagine a line coming off the point 135 degrees from either wall (or at a compromised 45 degree angle). The corner of the wall is pointing at something and I don't step on the line it is using to point. I do this. All the time.
There is a coffee table at my parents house. When I am on the phone in their living room I walk around the coffee table. It has four legs and each leg is a square with pointed corners.
The big square is the table
The little squares are the legs
The lines are...the lines. But the lines in my head.
The little black circles are where I step.
This is a common thing. And not just with the coffee table. Stepping through doorways, through kitchens with furniture and cabinets, etc...
I also like things to be even. If something brushes me on my left arm my right arm feels like it's left out. It needs to be brushed. But not just generically brushed but with the same firmness and texture as the other brush.
This doesn't count for itches or irritations. It's more for randomness like when I'm walking and bump the toe of my shoe against the ground. If you pay close attention (I don't know why you would) I will then spend an unhealthy amount of time trying to bump my other foot on the ground for an equivalent impact. I will even bump it several times if I have too. However, if I feel I have impacted my second foot more than my first, yes, I go back and bump my first foot again.
As I am writing this I just scratched my left cheek because of a mild irritation and then my right cheek to balance the sensory input.
I don't even understand my own rules...
Walking down sidewalks is a problem.
I out the outside I'm walking like everyone else. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, etc... However, unless I am having a conversation or have something using up brain processing power, I am paying attention to where my feet are landing. With my standard walking pace and the standard size of sidewalk squares I walk in two alternating sets of five steps.
First set: 1) Right foot steps on a space between squares at about the toe joint. 2) Left foot steps between squares. 3) Right foot steps on a space between square just before the heel. 4) Left foot steps between squares. 5) Right foot steps between squares.
Second set: 1) Left foot steps on a space between squares at about the toe joint. 2) Right foot steps between squares. 3) Left foot steps on a space between square just before the heel. 4) Right foot steps between squares. 5) Left foot steps between squares.
Also, I can't sleep at night if one of my nostrils is whistling when I exhale. However, I imagine that is slightly more common than the previous things.
That's about all I can think of right now. I have other issues and soap boxes I'd like to rant about but honestly, I'm too tired to rant right now. I'm feeling lame and I'm gonna roll around in it for a bit.
This week I am less lame.
And for this weeks post: a little glimpse into my head. Or, at least as much of my head as I can put down in words after a tiring brain day.
To explain: I picked out four weeks worth of music for worship services this morning. I got into my office at 9:00 ad left around 12:30. Not too many hours but sifting through that much music and matching it to themes and everything is mentally taxing. That and I stayed up late last night watching Interstellar (which I enjoyed) and playing Payday 2 (which I also enjoyed).
Anyways...
I doubt anyone reading this has read any of the novels based on the Myst computer game series mythology but I am going to reference it. In these stories there are an ancient race of people called the D'ni. The D'ni create worlds by writing in books. They have to describe the world and its peoples correctly and exactly or else the world is unstable and collapses. Things can be omitted but striking a single line has extensive consequences. Through the story Book of Atrus there are two theories about the creation of worlds. Some D'ni believe that the studying of science and the writing of worlds actually creates worlds and the links to them. Other D'ni believe that the worlds already exist and that by writing in the books they simply discover the links to those worlds.
This is relevant.
When I have written some of my best music I feel like the later D'ni. It may sound weird (k, I admit it is a little weird) but sometimes when I write music I can hear it in my head. I heard a melody and chords in my head. I don't know exactly what everything is or how it fits together but I can hear it clearly and I can play it in real time as I hear it. There have been times where I have played and didn't even really know where the song was going or what chord I was going to play next but my fingers went there and it sounded great. That is partially due to many years of playing and practicing and I know where chord shapes are and their relation to each other. But the chord progressions and melodies are new.
So I write out what I hear and what I just played and I can hear the melody continuing. Sometimes I have to stop and figure out what it is before writing it down and sometimes I can figure it out and write it down right away.
And then I get stuck.
I went to college and have a degree in theory and composition so I know how music works. I know how to write music. I know how to analyze music. Like everyone else who does anything with an amount of creativity I get stuck. I get writers block. I have techniques I have learned and made up to spin long pieces of music out of a few notes. I can make something up even when I don't feel inspired. But the best music I have written has come when I have writers block and I just sit there at the piano...and listen. I replay what I have so far either on the piano or just in my head and listen to where it goes next. And it usually goes somewhere I don't expect it to. Or somewhere it wouldn't have if I had forced something out using a writing technique. I feel when I have a good song, it writes itself.
My philosophy: I feel I am the medium between great pieces of music and everything else. I hear great music and write it out.
There are definitely times when I use my knowledge of theory and I use composition techniques to make songs better. Sometimes what comes out is very rough around the edges and needs a little polishing. Sometimes it needs a lot of polishing. But the basic idea is there. What's fantastic, and admittedly doesn't happen very often, is when the song just pops out and poof, it's done! I think that happened once....
Not everyone writes this way. And that's a good thing! It takes too long. There wouldn't be a lot of music out there if people only sat around waiting to be inspired. There are entire genres of music dedicated to systematic and calculated creation. And that's just fine. I have written some music like that.
And I've written music that didn't write itself and it's been good. It's not like only my good songs come out this way. Just my best ones so far.
So that's a little about how I write music.
Here are a few other interesting tid bits that not everyone knows. Maybe they shouldn't.......oh well!
I don't like to step on lines.
No, not real lines. Just lines in my head.
Let me 'splain: When a wall, piece or furniture, or very prominent carpet patters come together at a strong angle I imagine a line coming off the angle. (the next sentence bay be difficult for some readers) For example, if I see a wall that ends at a 90 degree angle, I imagine a line coming off the point 135 degrees from either wall (or at a compromised 45 degree angle). The corner of the wall is pointing at something and I don't step on the line it is using to point. I do this. All the time.
There is a coffee table at my parents house. When I am on the phone in their living room I walk around the coffee table. It has four legs and each leg is a square with pointed corners.
The little squares are the legs
The lines are...the lines. But the lines in my head.
The little black circles are where I step.
This is a common thing. And not just with the coffee table. Stepping through doorways, through kitchens with furniture and cabinets, etc...
I also like things to be even. If something brushes me on my left arm my right arm feels like it's left out. It needs to be brushed. But not just generically brushed but with the same firmness and texture as the other brush.
This doesn't count for itches or irritations. It's more for randomness like when I'm walking and bump the toe of my shoe against the ground. If you pay close attention (I don't know why you would) I will then spend an unhealthy amount of time trying to bump my other foot on the ground for an equivalent impact. I will even bump it several times if I have too. However, if I feel I have impacted my second foot more than my first, yes, I go back and bump my first foot again.
As I am writing this I just scratched my left cheek because of a mild irritation and then my right cheek to balance the sensory input.
I don't even understand my own rules...
Walking down sidewalks is a problem.
I out the outside I'm walking like everyone else. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, etc... However, unless I am having a conversation or have something using up brain processing power, I am paying attention to where my feet are landing. With my standard walking pace and the standard size of sidewalk squares I walk in two alternating sets of five steps.
First set: 1) Right foot steps on a space between squares at about the toe joint. 2) Left foot steps between squares. 3) Right foot steps on a space between square just before the heel. 4) Left foot steps between squares. 5) Right foot steps between squares.
Second set: 1) Left foot steps on a space between squares at about the toe joint. 2) Right foot steps between squares. 3) Left foot steps on a space between square just before the heel. 4) Right foot steps between squares. 5) Left foot steps between squares.
Also, I can't sleep at night if one of my nostrils is whistling when I exhale. However, I imagine that is slightly more common than the previous things.
That's about all I can think of right now. I have other issues and soap boxes I'd like to rant about but honestly, I'm too tired to rant right now. I'm feeling lame and I'm gonna roll around in it for a bit.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Relationships (or - Bedtime sleepy music, teenage angst, aging, and book covers)
Ok, so writing every Monday isn't working well. Whatever...
I'm sitting here listening to The Hymn of Acxiom by Vienna Teng getting ready to go to sleep. This is by far one of the most peaceful, beautiful song I have ever heard. That being said, it is creepy as all get out when you look up and listen to the lyrics. But as background music it puts me right to sleep! Just sayin'.
Also, I have been playing a lot of Assassin's Creed: Black Flag lately. I got it for my birthday two weeks ago and have been loving it! I had no idea it would be this much fun being a pirate. Character models are still stiff and funny looking and the controls work...most of the time. But the core game is just so much fun. It kinda takes me back to the original. The feeling of, "Sure, this could be done a little better, but I've never done stuff like this before and I love it so who cares?!"
Also, I had a birthday recently. I am now a quarter of a century old. Big land mark. Very exciting.
Probably my favorite thing about getting older is that I get to tell people that I'm older. I don't know what it is with our culture but there seems to be a sever lack of respect due to people's age. It feels like young people disrespect old people because they are just old, they don't understand, they're backwards, etc... Young people do not understand or value the experience and wisdom that comes with age. Honestly, even a dumb old person has more knowledge than a young person. They've been around longer and survived. They must be doing SOMETHING right!
Full disclosure: I am guilty of judging the elderly. My bad. I'm working on that.
And on the flip side, older people seem to judge younger people just because they are young, inexperienced, naive, reckless, etc...
Full disclosure: I'm getting REALLY tired of being judged because I'm young.
I don't know how many times I've gotten the, "Oh you're young, you probably don't understand" talk. It really bothers me.
Get this: I am now 25 years old. I have been playing piano for 15 years and had hundreds of performances. I've played both football and basketball and am pretty good at both. I graduated high school at 16 and scored high enough on the GED to go to a community college on track to get a music degree at ASU. I went to Africa (my 4th time leaving the country) when I was 18. I spent 8 weeks in Malawi, Africa teaching music lessons to college students. I have a long list of jobs worked and skills acquired at each which some will take to mean I can't keep a job. What it really states is that I have a very diverse professional skill set that I've been building up for the past 7 years. I leave jobs not because I can't keep them (I've only been fired once and that was because of behind the scenes politics and favoritism) but because I keep putting myself into better and better positions. Every time I move it is to a better neighborhood with better space and rent. I have moved across the continent 3 times and have now landed myself a good position as a music/worship leader at a church. Small church = small salary but hey, it's way better than sales or food services! I will have been married for 5 years this July and we are still super happy together!!!!!! I'm also tired of the, "Oh, you're still in the honeymoon stage" stupidness. Look, just because you chose poorly and are no longer happy with your spouse doesn't mean I made the same mistake. 5 years and we are still thrilled to spend time together after work and are really happy to be the last people we see before bed and the first people to see in the morning.
I had a GPA of 3.65 upon graduation without even caring. I studied, kinda, and just got through. I have a very successful marriage, live in a nice place, and have a great job. I have a very short list of "enemies" and never actually come into contact with any of them.
In short: I am well aware that I am only 25 years old but that does not mean that I am naive, incompetent, or close-minded.
As a rule of thumb: it's not only rude to judge people before you get to know them based on............pretty much anything, but it's also stupid. Honestly, everyone says, "Don't judge a book by its cover" but SO much of our society is based of judging without knowing!!! It would be like me giving a review of the book Moby Dick. I haven't read the book so it would be stupid of me to write a review. And it would be stupid of anyone to take anything in said review seriously and live according to it.
The same thing goes with people.
Let me give an example. When I was in my young teens I wore a lot of dark clothing. Basically all I owned was jeans and black tee shirts. I wore large skater shoes and chains to top it off. I didn't talk much and kept largely to myself. I listened to Evanescence and Linkin Park.
Keep in mind I was in the youth group and my dad was the pastor.
Now, you see a kid like that and what do you think? What are your thoughts when you see a kid like that standing in the corner of the room watching everyone.
Just think about it for a sec...
Now let me tell you what was going on in my head and life. I had a group of friends that I had grown up with and abandoned me on a whim for the "new kid". I felt betrayed by many people that I knew, had trusted, and in some cases, thought I had loved. All my relationships with anyone at the church were superficial and fake. It bothered me. I started going to college and nothing changed. I hated going outside. I hated being in large groups of people. People didn't care.
I wore dark colors and dressed like the fringe cultures to hide behind stereotypes. I didn't want people to think I was friendly so they could start shallow conversations with me and create surface-y relationships. I lived with the idea that I would rather be alone than with shallow "friends". I figured that if someone was willing to talk to me, to take time and try to get to know me in spite of my outward appearance that they might be worth getting to know. The other side was also true. I figured if someone was going to judge me because of what I wore or was intimidated by what I wore then I didn't want to get to know them either.
A few people did get to know me. And honestly, it was great! I really appreciate them. And one of those people I ended up falling in love with and we got married 5 years ago.
Don't judge just because of what someone has chosen to look like. People are not mistakes and neither is what they wear, say, or do. Take time to get to know someone new. Take time to get to know someone you normally wouldn't. You'll end up learning something.
Pretty much every time I see some video online of two morons yelling at each other and punching each other it starts with assumptions. It's just stupid and it never works. So just don't.
Now, you're not going to get along with everyone. Some personalities, even if there's nothing wrong with either person, just don't get along. Even if they don't cause problems they just don't click. Sure. That's a thing. Don't worry about that. Not everyone has to be a life-long friend. Some people don't get along with anyone because they have chosen to react poorly to their life. That's an instance where you can get to know someone, pity them, and just avoid them so you don't end up punching them in the kidney. Which is mean. Don't do that either.
I'm sitting here listening to The Hymn of Acxiom by Vienna Teng getting ready to go to sleep. This is by far one of the most peaceful, beautiful song I have ever heard. That being said, it is creepy as all get out when you look up and listen to the lyrics. But as background music it puts me right to sleep! Just sayin'.
Also, I have been playing a lot of Assassin's Creed: Black Flag lately. I got it for my birthday two weeks ago and have been loving it! I had no idea it would be this much fun being a pirate. Character models are still stiff and funny looking and the controls work...most of the time. But the core game is just so much fun. It kinda takes me back to the original. The feeling of, "Sure, this could be done a little better, but I've never done stuff like this before and I love it so who cares?!"
Also, I had a birthday recently. I am now a quarter of a century old. Big land mark. Very exciting.
Probably my favorite thing about getting older is that I get to tell people that I'm older. I don't know what it is with our culture but there seems to be a sever lack of respect due to people's age. It feels like young people disrespect old people because they are just old, they don't understand, they're backwards, etc... Young people do not understand or value the experience and wisdom that comes with age. Honestly, even a dumb old person has more knowledge than a young person. They've been around longer and survived. They must be doing SOMETHING right!
Full disclosure: I am guilty of judging the elderly. My bad. I'm working on that.
And on the flip side, older people seem to judge younger people just because they are young, inexperienced, naive, reckless, etc...
Full disclosure: I'm getting REALLY tired of being judged because I'm young.
I don't know how many times I've gotten the, "Oh you're young, you probably don't understand" talk. It really bothers me.
Get this: I am now 25 years old. I have been playing piano for 15 years and had hundreds of performances. I've played both football and basketball and am pretty good at both. I graduated high school at 16 and scored high enough on the GED to go to a community college on track to get a music degree at ASU. I went to Africa (my 4th time leaving the country) when I was 18. I spent 8 weeks in Malawi, Africa teaching music lessons to college students. I have a long list of jobs worked and skills acquired at each which some will take to mean I can't keep a job. What it really states is that I have a very diverse professional skill set that I've been building up for the past 7 years. I leave jobs not because I can't keep them (I've only been fired once and that was because of behind the scenes politics and favoritism) but because I keep putting myself into better and better positions. Every time I move it is to a better neighborhood with better space and rent. I have moved across the continent 3 times and have now landed myself a good position as a music/worship leader at a church. Small church = small salary but hey, it's way better than sales or food services! I will have been married for 5 years this July and we are still super happy together!!!!!! I'm also tired of the, "Oh, you're still in the honeymoon stage" stupidness. Look, just because you chose poorly and are no longer happy with your spouse doesn't mean I made the same mistake. 5 years and we are still thrilled to spend time together after work and are really happy to be the last people we see before bed and the first people to see in the morning.
I had a GPA of 3.65 upon graduation without even caring. I studied, kinda, and just got through. I have a very successful marriage, live in a nice place, and have a great job. I have a very short list of "enemies" and never actually come into contact with any of them.
In short: I am well aware that I am only 25 years old but that does not mean that I am naive, incompetent, or close-minded.
As a rule of thumb: it's not only rude to judge people before you get to know them based on............pretty much anything, but it's also stupid. Honestly, everyone says, "Don't judge a book by its cover" but SO much of our society is based of judging without knowing!!! It would be like me giving a review of the book Moby Dick. I haven't read the book so it would be stupid of me to write a review. And it would be stupid of anyone to take anything in said review seriously and live according to it.
The same thing goes with people.
Let me give an example. When I was in my young teens I wore a lot of dark clothing. Basically all I owned was jeans and black tee shirts. I wore large skater shoes and chains to top it off. I didn't talk much and kept largely to myself. I listened to Evanescence and Linkin Park.
Keep in mind I was in the youth group and my dad was the pastor.
Now, you see a kid like that and what do you think? What are your thoughts when you see a kid like that standing in the corner of the room watching everyone.
Just think about it for a sec...
Now let me tell you what was going on in my head and life. I had a group of friends that I had grown up with and abandoned me on a whim for the "new kid". I felt betrayed by many people that I knew, had trusted, and in some cases, thought I had loved. All my relationships with anyone at the church were superficial and fake. It bothered me. I started going to college and nothing changed. I hated going outside. I hated being in large groups of people. People didn't care.
I wore dark colors and dressed like the fringe cultures to hide behind stereotypes. I didn't want people to think I was friendly so they could start shallow conversations with me and create surface-y relationships. I lived with the idea that I would rather be alone than with shallow "friends". I figured that if someone was willing to talk to me, to take time and try to get to know me in spite of my outward appearance that they might be worth getting to know. The other side was also true. I figured if someone was going to judge me because of what I wore or was intimidated by what I wore then I didn't want to get to know them either.
A few people did get to know me. And honestly, it was great! I really appreciate them. And one of those people I ended up falling in love with and we got married 5 years ago.
Don't judge just because of what someone has chosen to look like. People are not mistakes and neither is what they wear, say, or do. Take time to get to know someone new. Take time to get to know someone you normally wouldn't. You'll end up learning something.
Pretty much every time I see some video online of two morons yelling at each other and punching each other it starts with assumptions. It's just stupid and it never works. So just don't.
Now, you're not going to get along with everyone. Some personalities, even if there's nothing wrong with either person, just don't get along. Even if they don't cause problems they just don't click. Sure. That's a thing. Don't worry about that. Not everyone has to be a life-long friend. Some people don't get along with anyone because they have chosen to react poorly to their life. That's an instance where you can get to know someone, pity them, and just avoid them so you don't end up punching them in the kidney. Which is mean. Don't do that either.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Words (or - Political correctness, why I think it's silly, being nice, and swearing)
[SOAPBOX PROXIMITY WARNING]
Yes, this is going to be me and my thoughts on a soapbox of mine: PC. No, I'm not an Apple fan. That's a different topic. I'm talking about political correctness.
So here's the deal: some jerk doesn't like someone else because of (insert random descriptor). They then make up a name, or use a pre-existing word, that identifies the person they don't like by that descriptor. The people in charge of making sure no one gets upset at anyone else (Ethan Hunt thought he had it tough) decide that the word the jerk used is now taboo. No one is allowed to use that word now because the jerk used it in a mean way. In the event that the jerk used a pre-existing word, no one is allowed to use that word anymore because the jerk used it INCORRECTLY. The impossible mission people then decide to use a different word to describe the people the jerk doesn't like. The jerk then laughs and uses this new word derisively thereby ruining the word. The cycle continues.
This bothers me...
We cannot hope to end this cycle of absurdity when we continue to allow morons and jerks to dictate the definition of words. How about, instead of taking all this time to find bad words and freaking out when people use them, we teach people to be nice. And when people aren't nice, we smack them. Ok, maybe not that...but seriously: why punish the nice people by saying "these are words you cannot use because someone might take offense even though this is a fake word or it is being used incorrectly"? What?!
This brings me to two other topics: words that change definition and swearing.
1: I understand that words change meaning due to a change of culture. Sure! Some words are obsolete now because they no longer have a place in society. There are some words that we don't use anymore because the objects they referred to are no longer in use. Ok. There are some words that have changed because the thing itself has changed and adapted to society, technology, whatever. Cool. I get that.
What about words that change definition because they are used incorrectly or associated with something "similar" but not actually related?
In an effort to not offend I will make polite edits to a few of the following words whist, and at the same time, making my point. (30,000 kudo points for that reference) ALSO (new other topic: difference between offensive and taking offence).
Let's take the word "b---h."
The original definition: a female dog used for breeding.
Hey, look at that! A word that was used for something practical. It was a word with a definition and it didn't bother anyone.
Slight alteration: a woman who sleeps around.
Ok, not really a dog, but still female. Not exactly breeding but still related. Ok, I can see it. Calling a person a dog. It happens. (don't know why) but it happens.
Slighter alteration: a woman who is mean.
...Ok...we are starting to lose focus here.
Slighterer alteration: a pathetic or annoying man who is acting like a woman.
So basically the only thing we have continuing here is that it's meant to be mean. And even the original wasn't mean. It was just a thing. Like "umbrella" or "pork chop". It was a noun. Also, isn't that a little sexist? Maybe?
Slighterest recent alteration: a friend of mine.
I guess we've come full circle in that the word is no longer a negative but..... WHAT?!?! I just wanna know who heard someone else use this word and thought "Hey, that didn't sound mean or derogatory at all. In fact, I'm gonna call all my friends that!"
*facepalm*
New word: "sh--".
Why this one word. Seriously.
I saw an elephant at a zoo once and I can tell you "poop" is an onamonapia. (side note: as I type that word in it has a red squiggly line. The suggested correction is "cinnamon". I kid you not...). Anyways.
"Dung" is just slightly comedic.
"Feces" just sounds nerdy and scientific.
"Droppings" is...well it's a thing.
"Bowl movement" no one uses because there are like, 100 other words you could use with one 1 syllable.
"Defecation" I believe is saved exclusively for really old books and death metal.
"Poo poo" is just adorable (Thank you Mr. Cosby).
"Guano" I thought was used just for bats until I just now Googled it and found out that in English it is used for birds. And I've learned something new. Also, I didn't know we needed an exclusive word for that.
I know that the cultural acceptance for this word varies but "crap" is another.
"Stool" ...I don't know and I don't wanna know.
But for some reason society has chosen 1, in some cases 2, synonyms for these words and said they are offensive. Why?!?! Why just 2?!?! I DON'T GET IT!
Well, I lied a little. Youtuber Vsauce explained it and I even watched the video so I do know why. I still think it's stupid though.
Btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7dQh8u4Hc
Just in case you're curious as to why.
Now some words I understand!
"H---". Whether you believe in it or not everyone agrees it is not a pleasant place.
"D---". Wishing someone to the aforementioned place is not nice. Seemingly appropriate for some people, but still not nice.
"A--hole". Eww...
"F---". In regards to the actual definition: why would this ever come up in normal conversation anyway?! Also, how in the world did this one word get to the point of holding almost every part of a sentence in the English language except for a article?!?! No one word should be powerful enough to be a noun, verb, adjective, AND adverb. Just silly!
And so on...
I just turned two topics into one. So there you go.
Other topic: being offensive and taking offense.
People in America today seem to get these terribly confused. Also, this ties into my previous thoughts about being politically correct.
Hypothetical situation: I am from a country and I meet a man from a different country. We have different beliefs and cultures. I see the man eating. In his culture it is polite to eat with your mouth open and make loud slurping sounds. In his culture it shows he is enjoying the meal and is complimenting the cook. In my culture I eat quietly. My mouth is supposed to be closed to the point no one is even supposed to be aware that I am eating anything. I look at him in disgust with a frown and say, "Ugh, you're such a pig!" Unbeknownst to be pigs are worshiped in his culture for being extremely polite when they eat. He becomes my life long friend and will now never leave me alone.
In saying, "Ugh, you're such a pig!" I was trying to offend the other man. I was being offensive. He however did not understand my meaning. He was not offended.
Now flip the situation. While eating, a large burp sneaks up on me and I belch with a mouth full of food. The other man looks at me, smiles, and says, "You're such a pig!"
In my culture, pigs are lower than humans. He was giving me a compliment. He was not being offensive. I did not understand what he meant. I took offense.
2 sides to this idea: it doesn't hurt to take a little time and consider your audience. It's in fact polite to consider your listeners and not say anything they may take offense at. I apologize to anyone from England for this next example.
When face to face with someone from England or with a strong English heritage, I try not to use the words bugger or fanny. Those are not ok over there and yet mean virtually nothing over here. I don't want to and I don't mean to offend so I'm careful.
On the other hand don't take offense at people when they say something you're not used to. People grow up differently. 1: they may not know it's offensive to you. And then how silly do you look getting all worked up over a misunderstanding like that and ranting at someone who honestly does not and could not know better. Then you just look like a jerk. 2: even if they are trying to be offensive. Just...don't take offense! It's not that hard.
I've been called a lot of things by a lot of people. It really doesn't bother me. I've had people call me a son of a b---h. Ok, that offends my mom more than me AND is an incorrect statement so now you just look stupid. I've been on a field trip to a place with other schools. At one park exhibit I was looking at something when a class of black kids came up to the same exhibit. The next thing I heard was "What's that white kid doing here?" Did I take offense? No. Was the other kid being offensive? I have no idea! I'm not psychic. Wish I was, but I'm not. I've had people genuinely offend my character by saying I was lazy and slacking off just because I was approaching the end of my contract and accused me of "insubordination." (Made it sound like I was a part of Starfleet or something). Did I take offense? Well...a little. It p---es me off when people think something of me with no actual proof and would rather wallow in their self delusion rather than look at reality and make judgments accordingly. .....I may have mini-soapboxed right there..... But hey, that's my problem. And in the end, it doesn't bother me. Ok, the situation bothers me as a principle but that instance in my life doesn't bother me.
So in the end, here's the idea: don't let things bother you and don't be mean. It's that simple. I try not to be mean to people. Sometimes I am. Sometimes it's because I think they deserve it. It's never right. Just...don't be mean. :D
Yes, this is going to be me and my thoughts on a soapbox of mine: PC. No, I'm not an Apple fan. That's a different topic. I'm talking about political correctness.
So here's the deal: some jerk doesn't like someone else because of (insert random descriptor). They then make up a name, or use a pre-existing word, that identifies the person they don't like by that descriptor. The people in charge of making sure no one gets upset at anyone else (Ethan Hunt thought he had it tough) decide that the word the jerk used is now taboo. No one is allowed to use that word now because the jerk used it in a mean way. In the event that the jerk used a pre-existing word, no one is allowed to use that word anymore because the jerk used it INCORRECTLY. The impossible mission people then decide to use a different word to describe the people the jerk doesn't like. The jerk then laughs and uses this new word derisively thereby ruining the word. The cycle continues.
This bothers me...
We cannot hope to end this cycle of absurdity when we continue to allow morons and jerks to dictate the definition of words. How about, instead of taking all this time to find bad words and freaking out when people use them, we teach people to be nice. And when people aren't nice, we smack them. Ok, maybe not that...but seriously: why punish the nice people by saying "these are words you cannot use because someone might take offense even though this is a fake word or it is being used incorrectly"? What?!
This brings me to two other topics: words that change definition and swearing.
1: I understand that words change meaning due to a change of culture. Sure! Some words are obsolete now because they no longer have a place in society. There are some words that we don't use anymore because the objects they referred to are no longer in use. Ok. There are some words that have changed because the thing itself has changed and adapted to society, technology, whatever. Cool. I get that.
What about words that change definition because they are used incorrectly or associated with something "similar" but not actually related?
In an effort to not offend I will make polite edits to a few of the following words whist, and at the same time, making my point. (30,000 kudo points for that reference) ALSO (new other topic: difference between offensive and taking offence).
Let's take the word "b---h."
The original definition: a female dog used for breeding.
Hey, look at that! A word that was used for something practical. It was a word with a definition and it didn't bother anyone.
Slight alteration: a woman who sleeps around.
Ok, not really a dog, but still female. Not exactly breeding but still related. Ok, I can see it. Calling a person a dog. It happens. (don't know why) but it happens.
Slighter alteration: a woman who is mean.
...Ok...we are starting to lose focus here.
Slighterer alteration: a pathetic or annoying man who is acting like a woman.
So basically the only thing we have continuing here is that it's meant to be mean. And even the original wasn't mean. It was just a thing. Like "umbrella" or "pork chop". It was a noun. Also, isn't that a little sexist? Maybe?
Slighterest recent alteration: a friend of mine.
I guess we've come full circle in that the word is no longer a negative but..... WHAT?!?! I just wanna know who heard someone else use this word and thought "Hey, that didn't sound mean or derogatory at all. In fact, I'm gonna call all my friends that!"
*facepalm*
New word: "sh--".
Why this one word. Seriously.
I saw an elephant at a zoo once and I can tell you "poop" is an onamonapia. (side note: as I type that word in it has a red squiggly line. The suggested correction is "cinnamon". I kid you not...). Anyways.
"Dung" is just slightly comedic.
"Feces" just sounds nerdy and scientific.
"Droppings" is...well it's a thing.
"Bowl movement" no one uses because there are like, 100 other words you could use with one 1 syllable.
"Defecation" I believe is saved exclusively for really old books and death metal.
"Poo poo" is just adorable (Thank you Mr. Cosby).
"Guano" I thought was used just for bats until I just now Googled it and found out that in English it is used for birds. And I've learned something new. Also, I didn't know we needed an exclusive word for that.
I know that the cultural acceptance for this word varies but "crap" is another.
"Stool" ...I don't know and I don't wanna know.
But for some reason society has chosen 1, in some cases 2, synonyms for these words and said they are offensive. Why?!?! Why just 2?!?! I DON'T GET IT!
Well, I lied a little. Youtuber Vsauce explained it and I even watched the video so I do know why. I still think it's stupid though.
Btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7dQh8u4Hc
Just in case you're curious as to why.
Now some words I understand!
"H---". Whether you believe in it or not everyone agrees it is not a pleasant place.
"D---". Wishing someone to the aforementioned place is not nice. Seemingly appropriate for some people, but still not nice.
"A--hole". Eww...
"F---". In regards to the actual definition: why would this ever come up in normal conversation anyway?! Also, how in the world did this one word get to the point of holding almost every part of a sentence in the English language except for a article?!?! No one word should be powerful enough to be a noun, verb, adjective, AND adverb. Just silly!
And so on...
I just turned two topics into one. So there you go.
Other topic: being offensive and taking offense.
People in America today seem to get these terribly confused. Also, this ties into my previous thoughts about being politically correct.
Hypothetical situation: I am from a country and I meet a man from a different country. We have different beliefs and cultures. I see the man eating. In his culture it is polite to eat with your mouth open and make loud slurping sounds. In his culture it shows he is enjoying the meal and is complimenting the cook. In my culture I eat quietly. My mouth is supposed to be closed to the point no one is even supposed to be aware that I am eating anything. I look at him in disgust with a frown and say, "Ugh, you're such a pig!" Unbeknownst to be pigs are worshiped in his culture for being extremely polite when they eat. He becomes my life long friend and will now never leave me alone.
In saying, "Ugh, you're such a pig!" I was trying to offend the other man. I was being offensive. He however did not understand my meaning. He was not offended.
Now flip the situation. While eating, a large burp sneaks up on me and I belch with a mouth full of food. The other man looks at me, smiles, and says, "You're such a pig!"
In my culture, pigs are lower than humans. He was giving me a compliment. He was not being offensive. I did not understand what he meant. I took offense.
2 sides to this idea: it doesn't hurt to take a little time and consider your audience. It's in fact polite to consider your listeners and not say anything they may take offense at. I apologize to anyone from England for this next example.
When face to face with someone from England or with a strong English heritage, I try not to use the words bugger or fanny. Those are not ok over there and yet mean virtually nothing over here. I don't want to and I don't mean to offend so I'm careful.
On the other hand don't take offense at people when they say something you're not used to. People grow up differently. 1: they may not know it's offensive to you. And then how silly do you look getting all worked up over a misunderstanding like that and ranting at someone who honestly does not and could not know better. Then you just look like a jerk. 2: even if they are trying to be offensive. Just...don't take offense! It's not that hard.
I've been called a lot of things by a lot of people. It really doesn't bother me. I've had people call me a son of a b---h. Ok, that offends my mom more than me AND is an incorrect statement so now you just look stupid. I've been on a field trip to a place with other schools. At one park exhibit I was looking at something when a class of black kids came up to the same exhibit. The next thing I heard was "What's that white kid doing here?" Did I take offense? No. Was the other kid being offensive? I have no idea! I'm not psychic. Wish I was, but I'm not. I've had people genuinely offend my character by saying I was lazy and slacking off just because I was approaching the end of my contract and accused me of "insubordination." (Made it sound like I was a part of Starfleet or something). Did I take offense? Well...a little. It p---es me off when people think something of me with no actual proof and would rather wallow in their self delusion rather than look at reality and make judgments accordingly. .....I may have mini-soapboxed right there..... But hey, that's my problem. And in the end, it doesn't bother me. Ok, the situation bothers me as a principle but that instance in my life doesn't bother me.
So in the end, here's the idea: don't let things bother you and don't be mean. It's that simple. I try not to be mean to people. Sometimes I am. Sometimes it's because I think they deserve it. It's never right. Just...don't be mean. :D
Friday, April 3, 2015
Fear (or - my thoughts on what scares us as humans, the horror/thriller genre, Silent Hill, and going to bed on time)
This is me at 1:09 AM and my thoughts.
Spoilers: I have no idea what's coming!
So I have now watched P.T. twice today which makes it four times overall. If you are not familiar with P.T. and you like to scare yourself check it out on Youtube. Fair warning: Pretty much everyone I've talked to or showed it to has been quite unsettled by it. And if you watch it being played with commentary expect plenty of expletives. You'll see why.
Actual Spoilers about P.T.!!!
I have got to say that for some time I have been a huge fan of the Silent Hill series. Sadly my experience started with SH8: Shattered Memories on the Wii which, I know, is not Silent Hill's best moment. Still, I thought the story was good. First time I had played a plot twist like that before in a game. And hey, it was my first SH. I then got some of the older ones in a bundle and am slowly...very slowly working my way through SH2.
Loving it!!!
Games like Silent Hill, Dead Space, Slender, Amnesia, and F.E.A.R. have brought an interesting thought to my brain: what is fear?
I enjoy scary games and films and have dabbled a little in horror/thriller fiction writing myself and it strikes me as a very difficult genre. Not everyone is scared by the same things, obviously, which makes it tough from the get go. You have to decide who your target audience is and continue from there. It is difficult to make something that is going to scare a wide audience just because fear is such a subjective emotion/concept. I find dark, tight setting with heavy subject matter unsettling (Dead Space) and am scared by situations of unavoidable yet anticipated demise (Jurassic Park/Dead Space/pretty much and zombie film). However, all I have to do is show my wife a picture of a snake and she loses it. So as an artist in the horror genre: what do you do?
Subject matter aside, there are so many different kinds of horror to choose from! You can have body horror (Saw/Hills Have Eyes/Event Horizon), cat and mouse (Anything that takes place in a cabin/Alien/), supernatural (Exorcist/Poltergeist/Paranormal Activity), monster (Godzilla/Them!/War of the Worlds), or you can go for the sub-horror/thriller types like psychological (Hide and Seek/Shutter Island), Sci-fi (Apollo 18/Europa Report), or crime (Silence of the Lambs/Raven). And this is just the meager list my sad, tired little brain can conjure at a time when it should be sleeping.
I'm working on a paper that looks into what fear is and am attempting to categorize it as broadly as I can. What are the base things that scare us as humans?
I am very rapidly running out of words! I did a terrible job of keeping this up this week but hope to get some more time possibly tomorrow after allowing my mind to reset. We will see what happens.
Spoilers: I have no idea what's coming!
So I have now watched P.T. twice today which makes it four times overall. If you are not familiar with P.T. and you like to scare yourself check it out on Youtube. Fair warning: Pretty much everyone I've talked to or showed it to has been quite unsettled by it. And if you watch it being played with commentary expect plenty of expletives. You'll see why.
Actual Spoilers about P.T.!!!
I have got to say that for some time I have been a huge fan of the Silent Hill series. Sadly my experience started with SH8: Shattered Memories on the Wii which, I know, is not Silent Hill's best moment. Still, I thought the story was good. First time I had played a plot twist like that before in a game. And hey, it was my first SH. I then got some of the older ones in a bundle and am slowly...very slowly working my way through SH2.
Loving it!!!
Games like Silent Hill, Dead Space, Slender, Amnesia, and F.E.A.R. have brought an interesting thought to my brain: what is fear?
I enjoy scary games and films and have dabbled a little in horror/thriller fiction writing myself and it strikes me as a very difficult genre. Not everyone is scared by the same things, obviously, which makes it tough from the get go. You have to decide who your target audience is and continue from there. It is difficult to make something that is going to scare a wide audience just because fear is such a subjective emotion/concept. I find dark, tight setting with heavy subject matter unsettling (Dead Space) and am scared by situations of unavoidable yet anticipated demise (Jurassic Park/Dead Space/pretty much and zombie film). However, all I have to do is show my wife a picture of a snake and she loses it. So as an artist in the horror genre: what do you do?
Subject matter aside, there are so many different kinds of horror to choose from! You can have body horror (Saw/Hills Have Eyes/Event Horizon), cat and mouse (Anything that takes place in a cabin/Alien/), supernatural (Exorcist/Poltergeist/Paranormal Activity), monster (Godzilla/Them!/War of the Worlds), or you can go for the sub-horror/thriller types like psychological (Hide and Seek/Shutter Island), Sci-fi (Apollo 18/Europa Report), or crime (Silence of the Lambs/Raven). And this is just the meager list my sad, tired little brain can conjure at a time when it should be sleeping.
I'm working on a paper that looks into what fear is and am attempting to categorize it as broadly as I can. What are the base things that scare us as humans?
I am very rapidly running out of words! I did a terrible job of keeping this up this week but hope to get some more time possibly tomorrow after allowing my mind to reset. We will see what happens.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)