So, this post is going to be about an opinion and will therefore be highly controversial.
Just sayin...
Ok, here it is.
...I don't like Disney.
Now if you're still reading this, let me explain: I like a lot of Disney movies. I don't like what the company has become post-Walt Disney's death. There was also the point when Disney was in kind of a rut (animation and voice acting-wise. basically anything from 1949 to 1985). Didn't really care for that either but I think it's better than what they've done recently.
Also, there have been a lot of great Disney movies after Walt died. Some of my favorites were made after 1966. However, some of the worst have also been made.
I don't know where it started, but from the company that brought you Aladdin, the Lion King, and Beauty and the Beast we also got Hannah Montana, Teacher's Pet (remember that one? No? there's a reason for that), and......John Carter......
Ugh...
And sequels! What is with Disney's obsession with terrible, superfluous sequels?!?! I guess they just get a cash cow and milk it til it dies.
Here are some of my highly opinionated examples of Disney sequels that should not have happened out of respect for the originals: Any sequel to the classic traditional animated movies. Cinderella 2, Little Mermaid 2, Jungle Book 2, Beauty and the Beast 2, Aladdin 2, Lion King 2, Bambi 2, etc... Any sequel to the newer but still good traditional animated movies. Mulan 2, Tarzan 2, Atlantis 2, etc... Any sequel to a Pixar movie post-2006 (when Disney bought Pixar in full) Cars 2 (and also Planes), Monster's University, and Toy Story 3.
Ok, now hold up, I liked Toy Story 3. I don't think it's a bad movie like...pretty much everything else I've listed so far. I just don't think it's up to par with the other two Toy Story movies. Just wanted to make that clear.
I don't think I need to go into detail on the Disney channel...
I also think they have seriously flopped with several of their live action films as well. And I'm gonna leave out a lot of the ones that no one really expected to do well (Pacifier, Old Dogs, Race to Witch Mountain, etc...). I'm talking about the ones they put a lot of money behind, should have worked, and yet failed. And by failed I don't mean they didn't make profit. If anything, Disney knows how to make something bigger than it is and trick people into seeing and even liking a movie they shouldn't. They make money, sure, but 2-3 weeks after release, no one is talking about it anymore.
Like these: Pirates of the Caribbean: Anything After the First One, The Chronicles of Narnia: Anything After the First One, Prince of Persia: Secondary Title Doesn't Matter, Tron: Way Too Late for a Sequel, The Lone Ranger, Maleficent, and.......sigh.........John Carter...
Ok, so I've watched a lot of REALLY bad movies and finished them out of a numb curiosity of how it finished. If you don't know what I mean, you should try watching Time Bandits or Troll 2. Except that you should never watch either of those movies. So when I tell you that I tried and could not watch a consecutive 10 minutes of John Carter, I want you to understand my full meaning. (and special shiny kudo points to anyone in the 'verse as can say where that reference came from)
Alright, now if I haven't fried your brain already then this will be the kicker. I'll probably be hunted down and burned alive for this (by a bunch of six-year-olds and a few moms) but here it goes...
I hate Frozen.
There I said it!
And I'm not just saying this to be a troll. I really, really don't like Frozen. But I do like Tangled. Let me explain (not that any of our opinions on any of this matter or that it makes a difference to anything whether I explain or not but I'm going to anyways cuz apparently I have nothing better to do).
I thought Tangled was cute. (and yes, despite the previous sentence I am, in fact, a man) It's a little dated and forced at times but in the end I liked it. [spoiler alert] I didn't see the selfless hair cutting thing at the end which I enjoyed for its dramaticle...ness. And I liked the music. Anyways!
Then there was Frozen. And to me it felt like a, "Hey, Tangled was good. So lets copy and paste the characters a couple times, come up with a good song, beef our special effects, give the horse some antlers, and call it a different movie!" I mean, I can't say it was a bad plan. They're still making ridiculous amounts of money from it. But they cut corners. They didn't do the best they could. The lines were forced, the jokes were kiddishly lame instead of clever, the story was inconsistent, the characters were redundant and/or superfluous (there's that word again), and, for the record, IT WAS NOT THE FIRST DISNEY FILM TO HAVE A STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER THAT DIDN'T NEED THE MAN TO SAVE HER!!! Mulan!!! Seriously, Shang was kind of a doof when it came to the actual story. Nor was it the first Disney movie that displayed actual love between the characters instead of meaningless, cliche romance. Beauty and the Beast much?! Granted, a lot...ok, most Disney movies have the cliche dude who saves the girl, they met maybe 24 hours ago, but they are in love and live happily ever after. Even Aladdin (my favorite Disney movie) follows that and the dude is a vagrant and kind of a creeper to boot!
However, Frozen was not the first to break the mold. In fact, it didn't break any molds. It just kinda took all the other molds and threw them together. Even the main song "Let It Go" (I will admit it is very catchy and has a good main point) isn't original. It sounds like a broadway song. And EVERYTHING sounds like a broadway musical right now! It's just the trend for musicals right now apparently. And more specifically, it sounds like it would fit right into the Wicked soundtrack (which kinda epitomizes current broadway music). And no, it's not just because Idina Menzel sang it. I have a degree in music theory and composition and have already broken down "Let It Go" and most of the Wicked soundtrack theoretically and instrumentationally. They go together. I know what I'm talking about; I had a class. (check out this Youtube video if you don't know that reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVlaZfLlWQc) (Also, if you watch that video, don't judge! :D)
And with all that in mind, I don't think I have to spend long explaining that I am not looking forward to Disney attempting to remake all their good animated movies into live action movies. Just really not looking forward to that. At all.
However, I do remain cautiously optimistic for the upcoming Star Wars movies. I like what J.J. Abrams did with the Star Trek re-boot/alternate reality sequel thing. We will see... (worst case: it can't be any worse than the Lucas touched up versions of the original 3 right?)
Singing aliens, really bad CGI dewbacks, a different song at the end that has nothing in the soundtrack sounding like hitting stormtrooper helmets with sticks, visions of a younger slightly better looking version of Anakin Skywalker who Luke had never met which would have been confusing and would have ruined the whole dead jedi reunion thing...
HAN NOT SHOOTING FIRST!!!
Anyway...
Disney, like EA, seems to do alright when they just throw money at someone and say, "Go do your thing!" See the Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for an example of Disney giving money to Walden Media and play Dead Space as an example of EA giving money to Visceral Studios.
And in the mean time I'm just gonna sit here and wait for the next thing to come out that has Joss Whedon involved in pretty much any way. (Like Toy Story, Titan A.E., Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Firefly/Serenity, Dollhouse, the Buffy franchise, and the Avengers). Just sayin...
No comments:
Post a Comment