You know the feeling you get when you're walking through a used car lot and everyone you see is wearing a uniform with the name of the company selling said used cars? And they are all smiling at you. They are all trying to start up a conversation. But you don't really want to talk to any of them because you are pretty sure you don't want to hear what they want to say. But the reason you don't want to hear it is because you already don't believe it. They haven't said anything, but you already know you're not gonna buy anything that comes out of their face.
Or when you're at a kiosk in the mall and the guy is trying to sell you that little piece of plastic to go on your phone. Or the warranty on your microwave. Or the homemade off-brand of...whatever.
You just know there is some other reason behind what they are saying, behind what they are selling.
That's what it feels like to be a cynic.
Jeez, I phrased that like it's a medical condition...
Ok, being cynical is a choice. But that's not the point! I'm avoiding that point to make what I feel like is a better point because the point is pointed at me. I want to do the pointing. Pointing outward.
So here's the point...
Honestly, it's not as bad as all that. I, personally, do give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know them. Unless they are literally a sales person. Or politician. Which is just like a sales person except they have the power to change the sales tax. More on that later...
However, it is difficult for me to take people seriously when they are trying to be nice to me. If it's just a casual nicety I just assume they are following social etiquette and trying not to be rude. Which I can appreciate. Rude is annoying. But punching rude people in the face is also rude and is proper grounds for a lawsuit which puts me in a pickle.
Being cynical is like pretending to have superpowers but without the actual ability of telepathy. It's like shaving my head, wearing a suit, and rolling around in a wheelchair talking like an old English guy for no apparent reason.
Me: "No, no, I can't actually read your minds. But it's fun to think I can and it makes me feel safe by keeping you at a distance based of baseless accusations."
Others: [confused stare]
Me: "Stop judging me."
Others: "I'm not."
Me: "I don't believe you!" [rolls away thinking "I can feel the judgement!"]
It's sad, really.
John Reuben in his song "Sales Pitch" off the album Boy Vs. the Cynic" phrased it very well.
"Everyone’s got a hidden agenda watch them push it on you
Everyone’s got a hidden agenda don’t pretend not to It’s a battle for your mind and a battle for your pocket book They’ll play on your emotions until your heart is hooked Reel them in tell them what’s your intent No mr. salesman you don’t have my confidence See I’m not sure if I can trust your heart So don’t feed me your lies disguised in sheep guard Everyone’s got an agenda can you tell me what for Everyone’s got an agenda can you tell me what’s yours From the liberal media to the conservative core From politics to the dude trying to play it cool on the dance floor Its human nature runs deep and reeks of secrets No matter how hard you try no man can keep it For a time maybe but one day you’re gonna have to face it And when that time comes you won’t be able to fake it"
This is how it feels. I don't reserve cynicism for Hollywood, or liberals, or conservatives, or musicians, or cooks, or neighbors. I'm an equal opportunist. :P
Honestly though, I don't just walk around judging everyone and disbelieving everything everyone tells me. Wanna take a sec and make that clear! I know a lot of wonderful people that I trust. I was much more cynical back in high school cuz...well...I was in high school. I mean, what can I say, right? My cynicism is largely directed toward organizations now instead of people. So don't feel bad if you're reading this! :D
And to be truly honest, I don't believe organizations. I don't believe slogans. I don't believe sales pitches. I do not believe companies that say, "Our number one goal is customer satisfaction." That's a great idea and it's a good way to get people to look at what you do as a company but it simply isn't true. The number one goal of every company that is currently functional is making profit. Unless, you know, it's a non-profit organization.
Customer service is a number two priority at best for any successful company. Having a boat full of happy customers will not keep your company from bankruptcy. Just saying...
I also do not trust politicians. I mean, seriously, have people really not figured out how it works? I mean that's like someone in retail walking up to you and saying, "Hey, if you sign up for a [clothing store] credit card I might win a 100$ bonus at the end of the month! Oh, and you can get cool stuff too I guess."
They don't know me. How could they really know and want what's best for me? They don't. I mean, they don't wish harm on me. They aren't evil. (close but technically not evil) But let's be honest, they don't really care. They want votes. They want what's best for their supporters so they can get more money to campaign and get a job. And not that all politicians are lackadaisical in the office. Lots of presidents have done good things for this country. But really, if you want to do good and make a difference in the country, being a president is one of the least effective positions you can work from. Just look at any of the last several presidents for examples!
As a side note, no one has room to rant about republicans vs. democrats and blocking what the others want in office. George Bush Sr got ripped off by democrats and Barack Obama got ripped off by republicans. It's a tie. Everyone sucks. Get over it.
Aaaaaaaand we're back!
I don't trust news agencies. News stations aren't concerned with telling people what's going on. They just want to tell people what they already know. People want to hear the same old garbage over and over again so the news agencies rush to get the newest recycled garbage out there. Newest rehash, increased ratings, increased paycheck, there you have it.
Also I don't trust Fox because they canceled Firefly.
Still sore about that...
I don't trust the Academy Awards. Those have been a joke for a long time. It's political. It is, and it's obvious.
I don't trust the Olympics. Anyone else watch the recent one in Russia. Just sayin...
I don't trust any company that gives out rebates. Anyone who has tried to cash in on a rebate will side with me on that.
And this is the saddest: I don't trust the American government. I do not believe that the government has my best interest in mind. I don't believe it even has the general public's best interest in mind. I don't have much reason to believe they have anyone in mind other than themselves. Trying to keep themselves clean and well paid.
Here's the funny thing though, I do not believe in most, if any, conspiracy theories.
I know! I don't get it either.
To be honest, I don't think you could get enough people smart enough or capable enough to pull off something as wide-spread as the Illuminati and get away with it. I just don't have enough faith in humanity to pull off a stunt that size.
So there's a little paradox to chew on.
I do not encourage cynicism. I do not believe it is healthy. It does make for some great short story material. And, if used correctly, can begin to resemble precaution. But it usually doesn't.
Anyway, it's late, I'm tired of negative vibe ranting, and my back is sore. I'm going to bed now.
No comments:
Post a Comment